I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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