I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
