your room smells of hookers.
And success
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
