Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
