dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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