I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
