After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Too much gin, very little bucket
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
