i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
