I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
