I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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