tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
either way he was missing a nipple.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
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