just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
