I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
North Korea, Best Korea!
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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