So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
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I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver just had a heart attack.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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