Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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