I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
ok first of all what the fuck
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
