4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
