The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Randomize
