where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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