I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
