i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
