Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
