Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize