There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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