apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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