they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
