All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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