thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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