I've blown a few things in my day
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
