I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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