Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
