I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
