Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
