no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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