i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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