Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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