I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
