I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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