Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
