babies were throwing up all over the place
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
