one might say we're banned from that church
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
