gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
We are all done wearing pants today
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
