If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
