I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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