So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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