I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
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Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
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Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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