She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize
