i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
