I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
