i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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