You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
