Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
