He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
