that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
