Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
