Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
