doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
