Kareoke will never be a sober sport
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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