a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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