why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
