I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I need a beard to bite.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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